exhausted
10-13-06 08:01
PING
Oh and....... 10-01-06 07:49
I MUST KNOW YOUR SECRET DAVID. I MUST (notice my caps of demand).

<3
I haven't DIED 10-01-06 07:46
I'm not as old as Avy, sheez. I have just been hanging at HATELIFE. I can access it at work, and NOT LOL...........

Its all grey and white and emo. Which sums up my life right now.

Soon - the prodigal Gripewater- will return.


That is IF Max EVER fixed my blog? Gripewater is floating out in one of Jimmy Nuetron's parallel universes.....

So, I doubt it. It's a conspiracy theory I have.
Second Helpings 09-16-06 01:08
How about a update from y'all again.

100 words or less.


And NO the GRIPEWATER ACCOUNT DOES NOT WORK, MAX.

Sheeze. Here I am - can't sleep at 1:00 AM and still can't log into that fucker.

:)
MISS ME?
Ack 06-04-06 01:07
I take meds before bed. Sometimes a pill gets stuck in my esophagus (sp!) and every time the damn thing does it's job, tries to push stuff down) it's like I have a boulder stuck in there.

And I compare it to the worst heartburn you could imagine.

Sometimes the gallons of H20 don't wash it down and I must wait for actual disolving. Hurts so bad, like you swallowed a knife that keeps rotating. But horizontal.

Eating something usually cleans it up but like it's 1:00 AM, I hate eating b4 bed.

Then you burp, just like heartburn. Maybe it is but I call it pillburn.

Sometimes it feels like my esophagus is burned from the pill I swallowed. Like damage. ICK
UPDATE 06-03-06 16:13
And now, in 100 words or more, double spaced...give me a general update on your life in the last 90 days.

Ready...GO!!! Condensed version, totally acceptable.
Hmmm 06-03-06 16:05
Hello. I want a cute lil icon. Those are sweet.
Say what you would like, it will not login.

So be it. Not like I ever have time to sit my butt in front of my home computer and read stuff.

I still have hatelife.

Working like a mad woman towards house sale... always two steps up, three back.

But we are getting there.

Our termite report was excellent, word up. We are scrambling to unload junk ASAP.

Today I made $250 selling a kayak, and the siesta sak...last week the bunks for $150.

I also listed the chipper, a second kayak, and furniture. If I cannot sell on craiglist, I will just toss in garage sale. Which now has filled my garage.

So, things are moving forward, things are moving out of here but it's just a lot of effing work. a lot.

Now we are onto painting.

But the results should be wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.......

and I won't have to work 10-12 hrs a day, first at work, then again at home like I currently do. I think I have chronic fatigue.

Any how, I am working towards making it so he will be able to do it all himself.

I'll be damned if we are bringing anything with us that has no purpose!

Thats where you say, will you stick him in the garage sale too? Ha ha. I know. I thought of that too... I'm bad.

Sorry- I am not very interesting cuz, all I do is work. Once I get finished with this little life hiccup.... I'll be BACK, and you'd better have my LOGIN FIXED!!!!
Avy dear, if you only knew what my day(s) sometimes consist of.

Let me tell you just about two weeks of my life.... I was taking the week of Feb 20th off, just to clean my house. I don't know about you but it's pretty pathetic that a vacation is mapped out around scrubbing showers and getting rid of half of everything you own.

I was busting my ass at work the week prior as I was going to be gone, trying to get everything possible I could- finished. I worked until 7PM on Friday the 17th- and that is where my sister reached me on my celly. To inform me my 91 y/o Grandpa had a stroke the day before, and was in a coma. She told me thhat my Mom had been trying to reach him all morning Thursday and when she couldn't she called his neighbors who "found him" and called an ambulance. The hospital would not tell my Mom a thing *HIPPA law* and so she had to rush to Reno, to see how he was. The fact they "found him" in this state is what upset me the most. I wonder constantly (obsessively) how long he had been in a coma, lying on his floor? How many days? Hours? Did he know? Was he is horrible pain?

Well, my Mom said that there was no need for us girls to rush up to see Grandpa because the Doctors said "he's still breathing" but he is basically gone. He won't be waking up. That horrifies me a bit more... and I can't finish the work I wanted to and I have to send a email to my boss why, and I just pack up and leave....

So I sob all the way home in the Nissan (hate that car) and it's raining and I am tired, and I am crying on celly to Hub and I go to brake, and sonofabitch if the brakes aren't working in the rain.... whatever, I slide about 100 feet, and had to go into oncoming traffic just so not to rear end the cars in front of me.

That made me a tad bit more hysterical.

So, I get home and have to relay everything to Hub and thats never a good scene to relive sad stuff makes me very unhappy.

So- now I am stuck with this hell in my head. Not very nice to clean to, I couldn't get it out of my MIND.

My sister takes the child for 2 nights so I can get tons of cleaning done, and we go and pick him up Monday, happy for the break. I find out that my middle sister does not KNOW about Grandpa because of the half assed messages eldest sister left her. He has been just 20 minutes away from her, laying in a hospital and she does not know due to this unspoken issue between the two sisters. Whatever the problem may be (one is a irresponsible flake, one is a judgemental bitch) you do not use dying Grandpa as a tool for your issues against your sibling just to teach her a lesson.

I freaked out thinking flake did not call bitch back; knowing the reasons of the call. However bitch, left NO DETAILS of reason of call, and only said "call me on my cell if you get this in the next half an hour". Well, flake is notoriously flaky, and actually was out late that night and got message next AM. Seeing as she missed 1/2 hour deadline, she did not call cell. Bitch should have said it was a fucking family emergency and call me whenever, where ever. But she did not, just to have some leverage. Bitch.

So when I find out that side of the story I am LIVID. Flake, who now had called and got scoop, left immediately for hospital. Cursing bitch entire way.... Flake spent 3 hours with Grandpa; regardless of what Doctors said- I envy that now.

Any how, Bitch and Flake have big blow out on phone, and Bitch ends call with "I am through with you and I have written you off" and "Guess we will at least get to see you at the funeral"....

Flake had not the slightest inclination that Bitch had any issue with her whatsoever, funny because Bitch has been bitching about it for 2 years. Mad that Flake did not attend her surprise birthday party, childish, yes, I think so too.

Any how.... that's how my week started!

Then I got the news he passed away on the following Thursday AM. Funeral scheduled for Friday the 3rd of March.

I am cleaning this whole time, miserable. My body is just wracked with pain, and so is my heart.

I get a call 5:30 AM Saturday from Flake. She is upset. She confesses that things aint so good at home. Flake had an affair last fall, and confessed and was working on reconcilliation and exoneration of her mistake with her husband. However, it seems Flakes Hub has been unable to get passed this terrible mistake, and things turned ugly and all they have been doing is having explosive fights. One or two have been so bad, they included some expressing of his love for her in the shape of his back hand as well as doing all sorts of mentally abusive bullshit stuff to her all in the name of getting his forgiveness or really believing she is truly sorry for what she did. Manipulative and mentally abusive things to her.... like making her call her family and confess the affair. Is that love or what? Seems this is why Flake has been a flake since Christmas. Seems they had a big blow out, and he was getting into the shower and the last thing he said to her was something along the lines of chopping all her hair off, since it "was the last thing that is important to her" and she deserves nothing. Nice!

So Flake grabs daughter and leaves town while Hub is in shower, calls me from gas station as she forgot her wallet and is "not going back". I give my $$ info over the phone and tell the service station to get her whatever she needs and fall back to sleep.

Flake and niece arrive, and I wake up. She tells me all the horrible things and I find info for her online to help her "escape" her environment.

The next three days are spent convincing her to stay. The next three days are spent by Flakes hub begging her to come home, and had no idea that he made her feel unsafe in her own home and promised anger management classes.

The weather was horrid so she couldn't leave when she wanted. But she did. At least he knows that we know. Both Hub and I called him offering support and concern for her safety. He seems humiliated for which I am happy. If I find out it happens again, I will call the police myself. I would rather have my sister hate me and be alive, than love me while shes dead.

So bad weather sucks, and I attempt to make my Grandfathers funeral on Friday but it takes 4 hours to make it to Reno. I miss it. I go to his house and hang with family and cry.

Flake and Bitch attend. They sit next to each other, neither one knowing whats going on in each others lives.

Its pathetic.

Any how, I am sure I left some sort of other bad news out- OH! yeah, I remember, I was sick the whole week too, and on my period.

What can go wrong, did.

I obviously did not get the house finished, I probably have another week of work (if I had full days at home) to complete it.

I have to go to Vegas next week for work.

I am just kind of losing my mind, such chaos. Sadness, and anger and exhaustion.

But whats sad, is I am so used to my little black cloud. Nothing phases me much anymore. Not trying to be martyrish but, fuck... I have really ran the gamut of hell.

Good news is the Workmans Comp case is coming along. I will have more to say on that, later.

And maybe I will be gripewater then but for now, I remain exhausted.
Le Gripe 03-08-06 20:07
It's Gripewater... please, somebody, restore me! Ack!

Gawd, I turn my back for just a minute and you guys are sluffin off and screwing around again. Can't you stick the server in a locked closet somewhere? Hmmm?


So, quick now, bring me back to life.


gripewatergripewater@hotmail.com

I still breathe, just shallower...
Hello, 03-08-06 20:03
My name is exhausted. I'm new to elowel.
exhausted